I am B.O.R.E.D to tears.
"My useless brother", "He's utterly hopeless"
This is how I often describe my brother in front of my friends and relatives, and even people who are just mere acquaintances (the kind that I often pretend not to notice so I wouldnt be thrown into the awkward situation -which by the way often happens- of me smiling and waving pleasantly at them while they stare at me blankly). I'm sure you know what I'm talking about, it happens. Ha ha!
Don't get me wrong, it's not that I hate my brother. I merely dislike him a little. Yes there is a difference between dislike and hate- albeit, not that distinctive. I mean for goodness sake, he's only primary 5! And I'm about to enter university this year. My parents' horrible family planning, the chauvinistic (And StoOpIP) mentality of my household, not to mention my brother's horrible temper (okay okay, and mine), it's not surprising we don't get along. It's not the kind of resentment of most oldersister-younger brother relationships, it's genuine animosity.
Our relationship works as such: I scream at him, he screams back, then I scream even louder. I order him to do something for me, he calls me some dirty names, I shout a string of profanities back, he relents. Thank god I'm older than him and when my parents aren't around, I always win. Perhaps in some sick way, we enjoy the fights we have. We love being the pain in each other's arse, love being mean and horrible and plain bitchy. Because in school/work, we have to play goody-2-shoes. Every now and then, our evil twin sneaks out for a breather; but before he gains satisfaction from his momentary freedom, the "good" twin will take over and all the feelings of guilt and remorse will start sinking in.
I think it's good to know that no matter how badly (like smelly cow dung) we treat each other, we'll still be able to get away with it. Because he's family. And I'm family.
Today
Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now
Backbeat the word was on the street
That the fire in your heart is out
I'm sure you've heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt
I don't believe that anybody feels
The way I do about you now
And all the roads we have to walk along are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would
Like to say to you
I don't know how
Because maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after all
You're my wonderwall
Today was gonna be the day?
But they'll never throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you're not to do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do
About you now
And all the roads that lead to you were winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
I don't know how
I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after all
You're my wonderwall
I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after an
You're my wonderwall
Said maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me
I was writing the title for my blog entry when this song suddenly popped into my head. Ha ha! I'm all cheery and mellow now. :D
And I totally forgot what I wanted to blog about initially. Bimbo.
Today it's "abomination to god", "beasts", "crawling on their four legs". Oooo the lawyer has improved!
insanity
I was reading an old friend's blog yesterday. Well, she's not really an old "friend" because the extent of our conversation in school was just the pretentious "Hi", "Bye", and "How are you?" (not to mention the pseudo smile that comes after) but let's not get technical.
Anyways, as I was saying, I've been reading her (let's call her TheKat- she has these really slitty eyes) blog for a couple of months now. I have to say that it really is the most inane and boring blog I have ever come across. Well, I suppose me reading her blog regularly would show how boring a person I am but that's beside the point. Every single entry of her blog is about how she finds "joy" from the small details of life. From the friends she has and the family she's so grateful for to things like a good meal, a smile, the weather, trying to find joy from knowing there has to be joy in this world (ah the irony) and so on.
This is sickening. I suppose it's all noble trying to live life in an optimistic manner and find "joy", "happiness" and "satisfaction" from the mundane things in life. How can one be joyful every single day? There's bound to be self pity, damnation, lost love, anger, devastation, frustration along the course of life. And I embrace every single one of that negative emotion. Because that's life. I find having to find some form of joy every single day would be a total pain in the arse. Well I suppose this would make me seem like an utterly miserable person. A pathetic and hopelessly bored person because I have nothing better to do than to comment about TheKat's blog. Which I totally have no right to because TheKat is a perfectly decent and self-assured person and she writes about the Goods of Life... which is positive. Ah I'm ranting. AGAIN.
I'm going a little nuts in the office. Today I just witnessed an insane outburst from the lawyer who's office is just across mine. He was yelling (literally) into the cell. I caught bits of his conversation which were too loud to ignore depite me being plugged into my ipod; it was basically filled with... "bloody wretched person", "i hate this kind of bloody person", "i hope he disappears from the face of this planet", "drench in blood for all i care".... punctured with the frequent "i hope he fries in hell". I hate my job.
Fries in hell? Oh my god. If I do get to study law and become a lawyer, I would turn out like that man. I wouldn't even be able to curse properly! And that seriously would take away much joy in life.
I suppose many times, we find joy just having mangaged it through the day. I want to go home. :(
Note: Dont condemn the writer of this blog for it's merely a crazy insane entry driven by the boredom at work and is not reflective of the writer's innermost thoughts. World peace people.
.bimbo.
Today is Monday.
I woke up feeling like the shittiest person on earth (This happens now too often). Stayed in bed till my dad came in and started threatening not to send me to the station if I don't get ready on time (Again, this happens now too often) before I slowly dragged my weak and exhausted body to the bathroom to wash up. My bones literally felt as though they were going to give way anytime soon, like they were not going to support me and I was going to melt and sink to the floor like a puddle of water.
Of course, life wasn't that good to me. I made it to the toilet, painstakingly brushed my teeth while trying to stay awake, all the time hearing my mum screaming in the kitchen. It was a shit day. A shit Monday.
I stayed up till 2 a.m. yesterday, 5 a.m. the night before. Rattled by scholarship applications that I didn't manage to submit on time and addictive shows like House. I personally think these drama serials are made for the pure evil reason of forcing mankind into self-destruction and of course, self pity. Beautiful people with their beautifully damaged lives just don't happen now. It's stoop-id to fool ourselves it does.
I had better stop now before I continue ranting on with my bimbo, childish comments. It's a Monday. I do hate Mondays.
In redemption of my earlier angsty ranter, I shall leave you guys with a quote I chanced upon. To all my female friends who have been complaining to me about their shit love problems right now, listen to the wise words of Sharon Stone.
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."
Choose your side wisely. :D
The Fool.
With all his worldly possessions in one small pack, the Fool travels he knows not where. So filled with visions and daydreams is he, that he doesn't see the cliff he is likely to fall over. At his heel, a small dog harries him (or tries to warn him of a possible mis-step). But perhaps that doesn't matter. For the Fool, the most important thing is to just go out and enjoy the world. To see what there is to see and delight in all of it.
Unfortunately, in this childlike state the person is likely to be overly optimistic or naive.
A Fool can and most likely will be a Fool.
You Fool.
I took a career personality test today and guess what, im a frigging INVENTOR!! wtf!
Career Inventory Test Results | Extroversion | | 66% | | Emotional Stability | | 50% | | Orderliness | | 36% | | Altruism | | 53% | | Inquisitiveness | | 56% | | You are an Inventor, possible professions include - systems designer, venture capitalist, actor, journalist, investment broker, real estate agent, real estate developer, strategic planner, political manager, politician, special projects developer, literary agent, restaurant/bar owner, technical trainer, diversity manager, art director, personnel systems developer, computer analyst, logistics consultant, outplacement consultant, advertising creative director, radio/TV talk show host. | | Take'>http://similarminds.com/career.html">Take Free Career Test < /a >< br/> <"a href=">personality/'>http://similarminds.com">personality tests by similarminds.com< /a >
I shall be a restaurant/bar owner then. I shall be rich, own a red ferrari, drink some lychee margaritas every now and then, listen to some crazy live band performing, and dream about marrying some rich generous ah pek.
C'est la vie. This is life
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