.lousy. horrid. you know, the usual.
everyone is so caught up by the jc fervour. DSA, IP, IB and what's not. so am i.
it sucks to be awakened, realising that your dream is shattered and that what you believe in is nothing but an illusion.
that's all for now.
.a;lkjnvawe;lkv.
cant really think of a title for my post. guess my nonsensical title explains it all. today has been a rather exceptional day. spent the whole day watching "golden faith", was glued to the chair since 8 in the morning. then i went for a small stroll and had dinner by myself. was suppose to go to cynthia's birthday party but everyone decided not to go at the last minute. anyways, even though i know she probably wont see it, HAPPY BIRTHDAY CYNTHIA! one year older, another year wiser. :)
during the stroll, i started thinking about many useless things. very often, we like to indulge in our own dreams, our own fantasy. through methods like movies and story books, even our own imagination. we like to put ourselves in the shoes of the female lead(if you are a guy, obviously the male lead), and think of how good it would be if we were her/him. what would we do if we were to lead a life like her/him. stuff like that. sometimes, we might even find that storybooks or movie lines are very closely related to our everyday life. even song lyrics might reflect the state that we are in, or how we are feeling at that moment.
although these are all different methods in which people rely on to release stress or even to entertain themselves, the one thing in common about these methods is that they all have a lesson to be learnt or a point to bring across. from all these stories, we are exposed to the many good and bad in this world. they prepare us so we can brace ourselves for what is to come in the future.
however, we must know when to wake up. when a show is over, we are hit by the bangs of reality again. we start to face the stress of everyday life, the stress of basically being alive. nevertheless, whenever we are down or just feeling tired, we can indulge in our own dreams again, think about things that we would like to do and can do in our imagination... ... before waking up to start things afresh. yes? ha ha ha!
.cut me some slack.
to me, the ultimate turn off is when you make a comment, and someone gives you a wierd expression, turning to look elsewhere thinking that you did not catch the "hidden meaning" behind his or her implication; when you try to pursue the subject by asking "what's the matter?", he or she just brushes you off by going, "nothing", when OBVIOUSLY, something is wrong!
it's not as though i do not know what on earth is going on in your mind, when you make it so ruddy apparent what you are thinking. nothing ever good anyways.
sometimes, i cant help but ask myself, "Why do I even bother?". why do i get so affected by how people view me? why am i always so swayed by people's opinions of things? i guess it all comes down to me not having a stand of my own, me not having believe myself enough to think that i might be right at times.
im still trying to find myself. i know i will eventually, just give me some time.
as for today, i will not even try to explain. i just hope faith and trust will put us through all adversities. live and let live.
.reminder to self.
i will not be weak.
.just wonderful.
Friday was a horrid horrid day. i was supppose to have some stupid interview with shanni after school. she mentioned in class that it would take around 10 mins per person so i thought that since i was after wei ling, i would only have to wait for 10 mins before it would be my turn. However, the interview with wei ling lasted horribly long; after waiting for 40 mins, shanni decides that she has no more time to conduct the interview with me and that it would be done some other day instead. oh freak la! i hate it when teachers think that they can be so irresposible and imperative towards their students and get away with it.
i have had it with adults and their blinking insensitivity. it's not only shanni, but a whole lot of other people too. sometimes i wonder, "Why do I even bother?"
Anyways, my computer's up and running again. this entry sucks i know, but i just had to get all that off my chest. will be making more frequent updates so please do come by to tag. love love! :)
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